Ego Loss

Ego loss is commonly equated to the shedding of reality as it was previously known; the breakdown of the self as an individual and the realization that all is one. The most common ways to reach complete ego loss is through hallucinogenic drugs, however this is not the only way.

I bring up the topic of ego loss because I experience it quite frequently without hallucinogens, or any drug at all for that matter. My most recent experience of ego loss was the other day, Monday, January 12, 2009 on my way to work. Around 9.00 A.M.

It's hard to describe in words the sensation of losing all sense of yourself as individual. I was riding my bike down Park Ave., in the Fan when I suddenly realized how finite and essentially meaningless life is. Not meaningless in the sense that nothing matters, but meaningless in the sense that the time that we experience as living beings is practically a blip in the eternal and unending time-line of the cosmos. Before our birth and after our death are endless abysses, while our time as conscious, living human beings is but a point. Imagine a point on an endless line and that is life as we know it.

The sensations that pass over you as you experience ego loss are indescribable using any of the five known senses. There is a complete calmness and absolutely no pain; it can, however, be quite intense and frightening.

The first few times I experienced this loss of self I was immeasurably afraid. Ego loss puts you face to face with death and that can be unhinging. However, after a couple incidents, and after educating myself I have learned to embrace these moments.

This is basically how my experiences go, as far as I can remember: rapid thoughts of the finiteness of life flash through my head, death becomes very real and tangible. The physical world begins to break down. Every concept of reality, especially technology, money, material objects transitions from murky opaqueness to crystal clarity. It becomes obviously clear that everything is connected and that the physical world is a transitional state between states we cannot fully understand as living beings. To be frank it is complete euphoria. The sensation only lasts for 15 to 30 seconds but it is intense and sometimes disturbing and frightening.

Again I have never experienced ego loss or anything like it using hallucinogens but only through random sober incidents. Anyone else had the same sensations?